Sometimes, Ben likes to pick out his own clothes. Who cares that it was about 90 degrees outside? He was happy, and so cute!

Hello everyone! Ben’s birthday is fast approaching, and some of you have been asking what kinds of gifts he might like this year. Well, here are a few ideas!

Generally speaking, he would love art supplies (paper, paints, markers, craft supplies, even an easel – we don’t have one yet), picture books or story collections, digging toys, a sled (maybe a saucer that he can ride with a parent) and money towards a class – he’s expressed interest in both tumbling and swimming.

Larger items include a covered sandbox, an inflatable backyard pool, other lawn or sidewalk toys, and child-friendly bookshelves (small, lightweight, maybe with books facing forward).

Clothes are a good gift, too. He is or soon will be wearing size 3T for shirts, 2T or 3T with a belt/size adjusters for pants, and size 8 for shoes.  Winter boots and snow gear are another good option!

Specifically, he has asked for bath markers/paints (to color the tub and also the bubbles). He has also specifically asked for Hot Wheels, especially of the Color Changer variety. He loves playing in the bath, and he loves sending his cars to the car wash.

Also, for the last couple of weeks, when Ben’s asked for something at the store, I’ve told him that we can take a picture of it and put it on his birthday list.

The observant among you will quickly notice a pattern.

This is a Lightning McQueen backpack. I honestly don’t know if this is still out there or not, since it’s a school supply, and I don’t know what he would use it for, but he seems to love it.

These are Cars and Cars 2 packs, at Target. I took pictures of the packs because he asked. However, he already has Jeff Gorvette (the yellow car in the Radiator Springs set and the second Racing 4-Pack) and Francesco (the white and red car in the middle pack).

The Radiator Springs pack is actually pretty great, and has some cars that I haven’t seen separately.  But, if you’re looking to buy singles, he most often asks for Nigel (a green, British car) and Raul (a blue, French car). He also loves the Japanese and German cars. I think that’s why he picked out those two 4-packs.

After playing with a Charge-Up version of McQueen at his cousins’ house, he’s been asking for his own. Here’s a photo of a Charge-Ups car and of the charger. There are several different cars that use these chargers.

He really has an eagle eye for anything that is branded with his favorite characters.  He latched on to this silverware set right away. I don’t even remember why we were in that aisle!

Please, don’t feel like all of his gifts need to be Cars themed.  If you are thinking about getting him something vehicle related, he’s just as enamored with Hot Wheels and Mattel cars as he is with the Disney ones, and they are way less expensive. He also loves trains (Thomas or otherwise) and planes, and pretty much anything else that travels.

Other characters that he’s excited about right now are Phineas and Ferb, Curious George, Angry Birds, Peanuts, Sesame Street, and Monsters, Inc.

Thank you so much, I hope this post is helpful to some of you!

He very quietly came in and handed me a card that we’d been working on earlier. He had, all on his own, put stickers all over it.  He told me, “Here, Mom, stickers will make you feel happy!”

Later, we were talking, and he explained to me,

“I just heard you crying, and I just thought, stickers will make you feel happy. So I put stickers on the card, and now you’re happy!”

And I was, though the stickers had very little to do with it.

Soon:

“Mom, I don’t want to watch Futurama again. Futurama makes me feel sick.”

Dan and I laughed so hard that I think we scared him a little.

Naps are less consistent – he’d been napping in his bed most of the time, but after sleeping in his room at night, he started asking to nap in our room again.  That’s okay, I’m willing to make a concession here and there on the path to little boy independence. 

Anyway, today he only fussed a little when I told him he had to nap in his own room.  It didn’t take him long to settle in.

I will be playing both handbells and oboe at this concert.  Come on out, enjoy an hour of Christmas music, and then join us for cookies!  The concert is free and open to the public, though donations will be accepted.  I’m happy to give directions to St. Mark, if you need.  I’d love to see you there!

Pretty soon I could hear him running around and playing. Good!

Then I heard him counting. “One two! One two!” Great! I love it when he counts. It’s adorable, and I love that he’s recognizing multiples of things and using words to describe them.

That’s when my mom-instincts kicked in. What on earth could he have more than one of? He’s already wearing his shoes, and he almost never counts his crayons. It could be my socks, but…where exactly was his voice coming from?

“Hey Ben! What are you counting?”

“This!” He proudly held up three sticks of butter.

Yep. I’d forgotten to close the kitchen gate, and he’d gone looking through the fridge.

At least he was too busy counting the butter to try to get any of it open.

On Thursday, he was sent home, put under the care of hospice nurses, and told that he had three to six weeks.

On Saturday afternoon, he died.

He was at home, with both of his daughters, as well as one of his brothers (though not my dad – he was on his way home from vacation at the time).

I can’t even begin to explain the shock I’m feeling. The first I heard of this was on Thursday. Even though I knew he had been sick, no one, including his doctors, had any idea how serious it was. In fact, a CAT scan from 13 months ago was entirely clear.

I’d been so disappointed that he wasn’t feeling well enough to come to his granddaughter’s first birthday party two week ago, but knew that he was recovering from pneumonia, so understood why he might avoid a crowd.

He gave me my first job, back in high school, at his restaurant. He always told the funniest jokes. He often hosted family parties, especially at Christmas. His daughters are the older girls I always looked up to as a child.

He was my godfather.

I’m in shock, and I’m desperately sad.

I didn’t even have time to go visit him. It all happened so, so fast.

I hope he knows how much I’ve always loved him.